I just thought I’d give you, my readers, a taste of the story I’ve been writing for several years. I’ve been writing since I was little, but I honestly believe this is the story I was born to write. It’s a symbolic story of how God can change the human heart, bring healing and bring new life. A fantasy version of the New Testament, in many ways. And, though I didn’t realize it at the time I wrote this scene, in many ways this is the story of my own heart.
To give just a little background, Adonai (a character that symbolizes God—the word even means “Lord” or “Master” in Hebrew) is leading a deeply wounded, broken-hearted girl to a place of rest in the forest. At this point, “Lady” can’t even remember her own name. She goes by Lady because that’s what Adonai calls her. All she knows is that Adonai rescued her from a tower where she was held captive and abused terribly. She even wears long robes all over her body, and gloves on her hands, because she is so terribly scarred all over her body. She is afraid to trust Adonai, and Lady is continually challenged by his acts of thoughtful love toward her. And in this scene, Adonai is about to give her a name that will profoundly affect her life—for the better.
I hope that while reading this sample of my story (especially for you women), you will see that God looks at you the same way that Adonai looks at this woman. I hope it speaks a little healing to you, to speak over the scars that cover your heart (whatever they are). And (perhaps this is wrong, but I think I hope this the most!) I really hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!
After some time, Adonai stopped and gently set her on her feet. Lady looked around curiously. Many of the trees looked like they had little green needles all over their branches, but Adonai had led her to a place where several trees had soft leaves. There was one tree along the bank of the stream that had a few roots actually dipped in the water. Adonai stepped ahead of her, and as he walked past he slipped his bare hand over her gloved hand. He led her to the tree by the stream, and they sat down under its shade side by side. Lady could not understand why Adonai wanted to sit so close to her. It made her extremely uncomfortable. But yet, she longed for it. It was painful and relieving, both at once. She didn’t understand it, but she craved Adonai’s closeness.
For a few minutes, they sat silently, listening to the natural melodies around them. The forest was filled with the sounds of life and beauty. There was the gentle mumbles and chuckles of the stream, and the wind whispering in the tall tree boughs. But after a moment, Lady realized that she was listening to a familiar sound. And when she looked up, her heart filled with delight.
There were at least twenty little birds in the tree above her. Some were bright yellow and black. One or two were bigger than the others, with brown bodies and bright red breasts. Some others were vividly and beautifully marked, but colored only black, gray and white. But to Lady’s delight, she saw several little brown, black and white birds. They were the smallest in the tree, and they looked just like the little bird who had visited her in the tower. She watched them with great fondness as they hopped about the branches, twittering cheerfully to themselves and the other birds. And Lady wondered, with deep sadness, where her little friend had gone to. From all she could remember, it had never left her side.
“You love these little birds, don’t you?” Adonai asked. When she looked back at him, he was smiling warmly. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Lady nodded. She looked back up at the little birds and listened carefully as Adonai spoke to her. “Do you see the little yellow and black ones? Those are called finches.” Though she didn’t look at him, Lady felt Adonai’s body draw closer as he leaned over to her. Their shoulders were even touching. “And the ones with red breasts are robins. And the black and white ones are wonderful little creatures. Guess what sound they make, Lady.” In reply, she shrugged. She glanced over to see Adonai’s big grin spread across his face. And then he burst out in a high voice, “Chickadee-dee-dee! Chickadee-dee-dee!” He laughed, and Lady hesitantly smiled. “They sound just like their name. Chickadees.”
Lady turned back to study the beautiful creatures. And then, to her astonished delight, her favorite type of bird fluttered down out of the tree. It landed not a foot from where she sat. Adonai reached out toward the little bird and whistled at it, sounding very similar to the little bird’s own song. To Lady’s increasing surprise, the little bird jumped onto Adonai’s hand, between his first finger and his thumb, and twittered cheerfully at him. The little bird was even more beautiful up close, despite that it was mostly a plain brown color. Not nearly as colorful as the others, or as vividly marked, but it had a beautiful form to its body, beak and eyes. It was so lovely. As it looked over at Lady, it cocked its head one way, then the other, then looked at Adonai again.
“This one is a girl,” Adonai commented. “Male birds are brighter, or more vividly marked, than females. The other ones you see in the tree, the ones with more black and white with the brown—those are males. But this little one on my finger is a lovely lady, isn’t she?”
“She’s my favorite,” Lady burst out, and then she quickly silenced herself, ashamed. She always talked too much, she knew, and her voice was horrible to hear.
But Adonai didn’t seem to mind. Lady hesitantly glanced at him from the corner of his eye, and saw him smiling at her. “Is that so? Tell me, why these birds your favorites?”
It took her a few moments to overcome her embarrassment. And she winced as she heard her voice again, raspy as ever. But she was shocked, happily relieved, to realize that Adonai actually wanted to talk and to listen to her. “A little bird just like this was in my room. It kept me company when I got in trouble.” She shuddered, remembering. “I got in terrible trouble.” She stopped talking, trying to push the memories out of her mind.
“And the little bird comforted you,” Adonai replied. “Didn’t it?” She looked over, and the little bird was still on Adonai’s finger. It was studying her curiously. And then, Lady couldn’t help but nod, comforted. “Here, hold out your hand,” Adonai instructed. She stuck her hand out, and Adonai laughed. “No, hold it like mine, with your forefinger out. Yes, that’s right. Now, stay very still.”
And to her increasing delight, Adonai held the little bird up to her hand. And it hopped onto her right hand. Its feet felt a little funny, and its grip was a little tighter than she expected. But it didn’t seem to mind the bandages on her hand, and it studied her again curiously. Happiness filled her heart as she looked at its beautiful feathers. She stared, in awe and delight. And after a moment, she found herself talking quickly. “The other birds are brighter, but I like this one the best. It’s pretty. Even if it’s only brown. And it has a pretty—” she stopped, and corrected herself with a smile, remembering the word. “No, it has a beautiful voice.”
The little bird took flight from her fingers and jumped down onto the ground beside her. It was after a little bug. A shock of disappointment filled Lady’s heart—did the little bird realize that she was not worth its precious time?—but tried to be grateful it even sat on her finger as briefly as it did. Adonai shifted beside her, and when she looked over, Adonai pulled a handful of seeds out of his pocket. “I think these little ones are hungry,” he commented, and threw them onto the grass beside her. Suddenly, not only the little brown, black and white bird, but all the ones in the tree, fluttered down and began to eat the seeds, hopping about excitedly and pecking the ground for the seeds.
Lady smiled as she watched, delighted to see them up close. And she felt a little better that her favorite bird had left her finger. It was only hungry—it didn’t despise her. She looked over to see Adonai’s reaction to the flock of birds, but he wasn’t looking at the birds. Adonai was smiling into Lady’s eyes, his own eyes glowing with something she didn’t understand. And that look in his eyes touched her heart in a way that both frightened her and filled her with longing, hoping he would stop staring at her, yet hoping that he would never look away. Adonai sighed contentedly, still smiling and gazing into her eyes. “Lady Sparrow. That’s what I’ll call you.”
She paused, confused. “Sparrow?” She tried to remember if she’d heard the word before, but she was certain that she hadn’t. Or, at least, she just couldn’t remember. “What is sparrow?”
Adonai’s eyes twinkled. “These little brown, black and white birds are called sparrows.”
Lady paused, confused even more. “So why do you call me Sparrow?”
“You said yourself that sparrows are plain little birds, compared to others. They are less colorful than most, and I’ll add that they’re very common birds, too. But you said that you love sparrows. In your eyes, they’re beautiful. In your ears, they have a beautiful song. And they have a special place in your heart, because it was a sparrow that kept you company in your tower.” Adonai looked away from her as he threw some more seeds toward the flock, and they hopped about cheerfully as they pecked up the seeds. “And again, that’s something we have in common. I love sparrows. It breaks my heart when even one of them falls to the ground. They are beautiful and precious in my eyes.”
“I…I still…I don’t understand,” she replied, ashamed at her confusion. She was reminded of how stupid she was, and it hurt to remember. And so she was too ashamed to keep asking why.
“I call you Sparrow because you’re just like them,” Adonai replied, turning and staring directly into her eyes again. It was like he’d read her mind. His eyes burned as he spoke to her, a smile playing on his lips, as if he were revealing a very serious and very wonderful secret. “You do not think of yourself as beautiful. I can tell that you believe you’re worthless. But even if the entire world thinks of you as ugly and worthless, in my eyes you are beautiful and precious beyond telling. You are worth so much more than what the world would tell you. You are my Sparrow. And as precious as these little birds are to me, my dear one, you are worth more to me than many sparrows.”
Lady stared at him for a few moments. He stared back calmly, as if waiting for her to say something. He did not laugh. He just smiled.
After a moment, her heart became too burdened, and she looked away, ashamed. She shut her eyes and drew her knees to her chest, burying her face in her arms so she couldn’t see him. “Please, don’t…” she softly moaned. “…Please don’t lie to me…please.” She squeezed her knees so tight it hurt her skin.
“I will never lie,” Adonai murmured softly beside her. She felt his hand gently touch her shaking shoulders. “I meant every word I said. And I’ll never take them back.”
“How can you say I’m beautiful?” she whispered, her voice even hoarser. “I’m not. I’m not beautiful. I never have been. You saw my scars. You saw everything.”
“I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, Lady Sparrow,” he replied, lifting his hand and gently placing it on her arm. “For everything you see is temporary, but what is unseen lasts forever. The world look at the outward appearance. But I, the King, look at the heart. And my dear woman, I can see who you were, who you are, and who you can become.” She still did not look at him, but she felt him lean close and whisper in her ear. “And I will heal you, if you will just allow me to.”
She felt her body shaking harder, and she drew even tighter into her body. It hurt more, but she didn’t loosen her grip. She just wanted to disappear. She felt Adonai pull back slowly. Several minutes of silence passed by. She listened, desperate to be distracted, to the sounds of the water and the little birds. But after a while, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She looked over at Adonai.
He was staring across the creek. After a moment, he looked down at her and smiled sadly. “You’re not ready today, I know. But I’ll ask again. I’ll awaken your desire again.” He took her gloved hand and kissed it gently. She flinched, shocked at what he’d done. But Adonai just smiled into her eyes, and then looked across the stream again, falling into silence. ”In time, I’ll bring you back to life again…Lady Sparrow.”
Lifepress 